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| Photo by Oscar Nord |
I'm starting to realize more and more each week that our attitudes can truly make or break our levels of happiness each day. Obviously, this is a "wise piece of advice" that we've all heard so many times. We just roll our eyes whenever some talks about the importance of attitude in a ted talk, podcast or we see an inspirational quote about it. I admit, I was stubborn for a very long time and didn't want to put in the effort to truly fix my attitude. It requires so much effort to stay positive and to manage our thoughts! We have so many of them every day, and honestly, most of my thoughts have been pretty freaking negative for most of 2019.
I felt like my circumstance should change first, and then I'll be more positive after I get "what I deserve," whatever that even means. After all, I work my butt off and put in a lot of effort in so many areas of my life, so where the fuck is the pay-off? This has been my train of thought. And I've spent a lot of time being angry, hostile and upset... but that really isn't working for me anymore. As I sat on my balcony, writing this post, something just clicked in my head. No, my life isn't anywhere near as put together as I would like for it to be. But repeating this cycle of having a great breakthrough, then having a setback, and then being disappointed in myself for not staying on track every single freaking day without accounting for the fact that I'm human and will always make mistakes is putting me in such a funk week after week. Do you see how self-destructive that train of thought is?
I've also been struggling with thinking that external circumstances will totally change my life and solve all of my problems. Once I make more money, find the right loving partner, grow my business, travel more, save more money, pay off all my debt, send more money home to help with my brother's insane medical bills, put more effort into my looks, get a dog, then I'll finally be happy. But once again, this is a toxic mentality to have because after I achieve all of this, I'll just have more goals and different problems. Why? Because problems are forever. Discomfort will always be a part of our lives, so I should stop trying to "fix all my problems" in such a neurotic manner. Like why do I crave instant gratification so much? I guess that's a topic for my therapist and me to dive into in October.
Will I ever stop pursuing my goals and dreams? Hell no! I think having something to strive for makes life sooo much more meaningful, but I am ready to change my attitude and stop resisting the fact that life will always have uncomfortable circumstances as we navigate adulthood. Dating in 2019 is fucking uncomfortable. Achieving more in our careers is fucking uncomfortable. Nurturing a mature and healthy, romantic relationship requires a lot of sacrifices, which is fucking uncomfortable. Getting out of debt is fucking uncomfortable... you get the point.
But also, changing our mindset is uncomfortable. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done because I have to work so hard at it, like every single fucking day, oy. But there's nothing else I'd rather put my energy into because if my mind isn't right, I'm so miserable and depressed. And when I get in a really dark space, it's hard for me to function, even on the smallest level. This is why I spend so much time listening to podcasts, reading self-help/career books and going to my dance classes and workout classes. I also understand that as life gets more and more stressful, I have to add more things to my wellness routine ie., reading more, writing and journaling more, creating more, exploring new neighborhoods and towns more, SAVING MORE MONEY, going to more cultural and networking events, dating myself more and spending more time in nature. Essentially, I have to take care of myself even when I'm exhausted and want to stay in bed all day. And you do too, booboo.
I hope you set aside 10 minutes today to make a small list of the most impactful activities you should add to your weekly routine to help you recharge. Maybe you spend your Friday nights having an at-home spa night instead of going out drinking. Maybe you go to Hobby Lobby or Michael's and pick up a few crafts to start working on. Maybe you set a weekly reminder to go read, paint or draw in the park for 30 minutes every Sunday. IDGAF what you add to your list, as long as it doesn't cost a lot of money and it helps you feel energized. It's ok if you only have one thing on your list for now, but as you start to prioritize your spiritual wellness more, you'll discover more activities that make you feel warm and giddy inside.
We can't keep overdrinking, overspending or overeating to avoid our utter misery - things I've been doing every freaking weekend this month, and these toxic patterns have been throwing me so off-balance. I'd rather accept that I have a lot of work and growth ahead of me, and that's not something I should feel ashamed about anymore. More money, a meaningful relationship, financial freedom and the ability to help my family navigate the insane health issue that has changed my brother's life will enter my life at the right time. In the meantime, I'll train myself to appreciate navigating these uncomfortable seasons, because once I conquer this season, I truly believe I'll be an unstoppable force and will be able to contribute to making the world a much better place. I have a feeling you'll be an unstoppable force too.
Woo; ok! Thanks for listening to my soap opera today. Now, here are a few things I've seen around the web lately that I think are worth mentioning. Hope you enjoy, and I hope you realize how much your support means to me! We are so going to make the rest of 2019 our bitch and add so much magic to our lives.
Favorite Finds and Links of the Week
- This book is at the top of my reading list because I've been feeling burned out recently. I can't wait to pick up Becoming Super Woman -A Simple 12 Step Plan to Go from Burnout to Balance, by Nicole Lapin. She also wrote Rich Bitch which was the first finance book I read and is still my favorite to date!
- An inspiring story from a woman who paid off $30K in credit card debt in 6 months!! Like damn!
- I'm so obsessed with all of these outfits in this blog post by NYC blogger Happily Ever Style! So chic and easy to throw on. Plus I NEED a brown velour maxi skirt
- Depression and anxiety are on the rise, but here is a helpful article about navigating the two in the workplace because we still gotta make money.
- If you need some inspo to help clean up your life this week, check out this post.
- I'm starting to build my fall wish list of things to buy myself (I have no shame), and I really want to invest in a beautiful pendant necklace that will last for years to come.
- Uh, I need a suede trench coat, and I'm loving this $20 one from Shein, this $60 one from H&M, this $125 one from River Island, and if you have a sugar daddy, you could invest in this statement coat from Talbots. It's certainly a piece you'll have for years to come.
- Here are 15 inspiring journal prompts to help you wind down this evening before bed.
- Also, for anyone who wants to get better at being your own best date, read this lovely post by Meghan Donovan. She is genuinely a sweet, intelligent and charming person who's dating advice I appreciate and respect.
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