The first day of autumn calls for celebration! This season is so magical! The fashion, the weather, the food, the activities - everything is just filled with extra whimsy in autumn. And I know this is a tad morbid, but none of us know how long we have on this earth. Every single day we wake up is a huge blessing. And I'm going to honor that blessing by finding small or large ways to celebrate the every day. Autumn is the perfect season to easily feel re-inspired by life, and now that I'm a member of Parlor, a version of the lifestyle I've always dreamed about is easily accessible. Here's a peek into some activities and environments I want to indulge in this invigorating season. 

1. Visit a countryside vineyard for a wine-tasting
2. Take a scenic train ride to new city/country (Canada is calling my name) 
3. Attend an art gallery event with bubbly or wine 
4. Go to a NYFW show - signed up for a charity one through Parlor 
5. Dine alfresco 
6. Fall picnic in central park 
7. Explore a castle. Idk why, an enchanting castle is just weighing on my heart so I need to follow through with that wish 
8. Find cute tea cups in an antique store 
9. Buy a beautiful nightgown at a vintage shop 
10. Sip red wine in an outdoor hot tub 
11. Treat myself to a luxe facial 
12. Solo date to the new cafe/book store in NYC. I want to order a glass of wine and enjoy a fun seasonal book - there are so many on my bookshelf that I've been needing to read 
13. Make popcorn and watch a cozy thriller via candle-light 
14. Make charm bracelets in the city 
15. Go to a candle-making workshop in Jersey City 
16. Paint in the park 
17. Check out QC Spa on Govs Island 
18. Dine and dance at Gitanos on Govs Island 
19. Cuddle with baby animals 
20. Volunteer 

September is one of the sweetest months of the year. As we transition from summer to autumn, there's a certain magic that lingers in the air. My energy and essence always feel revived in the fall. Maybe because I try to prioritize rest and slowing down every summer. Well, not so much physically, but I took a mental break from allowing stress to dominate me. 

My body and psyche were exhibiting all the signs of burnout, so I knew it was time to hit pause on heavily pursuing some of my big goals. I took a break from putting pressure on myself and beating myself up for not doing enough to create a life that excites me instead of drains me. I decided to just enjoy my days (outside of needing the clock in for a freaking paycheck) as much as possible and embrace a season of just being. 

And that brief emotional PTO was vital for my well-being. Now I can bounce back from my burnout and mindfully continue on my journey to cultivate a well-lived life. I want romance, intimacy, security, abundance, travel, passion, a f*cking regulated nervous system, and little babies (in like 4-5 years). If I want those things for myself, I have to adopt the habits that will bring those blessings into my life and remove the toxic patterns that block them. But letting go of the poisonous, yet comforting habits that help me temporarily escape my pain isn't an easy process. Honestly, it's painful and filled with grief, discomfort and panic. But if learning to navigate those heavy emotions gracefully is the price I need to pay to finally receive what my heart and soul truly long for, then oh my f*cking God, it is soooooo worth it! 

In other words, she's baaaaaaaaccccckkk! And she (aka ME) is stronger and wiser. It is time to ascend to a new, healthier level once again... but without the self-sabotaging, anxious, neurotic, draining energy. I want to enjoy this journey of becoming a spiritually, physically, mentally, and financially healthier version of myself. I want to arrive at that destination via self-love, grace, gratitude, and confidence. What is the point of pursuing your dreams if you are beating yourself up every step of the way, telling yourself you aren't good enough, and making yourself miserable? I hate to break it to you, but if you create your goals in that type of draining energy, you will be just as miserable once you get to the other side of your goals. 

Now I'm not saying you need to be happy 24/7 and avoid your negative emotions. I'm actually saying the exact opposite. We need to embrace the good and the bad and give ourselves grace while going through this one life we have. We have to find little moments of pure bliss throughout the day. And most importantly, we have to learn from our downfalls, shortcomings, or bad breaks instead of beating ourselves up for not being perfect. And that, my friends, is one of the biggest secrets to mindfully pursuing our goals. 

Autumn is the season of harvest, and the fruits (blessings, well-being, abundance) we've been cultivating are going to be oh-so-sweet. Sending you lots of love. 

XOXO, 

Nia Maria 

 “Even through your hardest days, remember we are all made of stardust.” — Carl Sagan

Spring is such a whimsical and magical season. It is a season full of hope, dreams and desires. And as I emerge from a brutal episode of the winter blues (thanks to seasonal depression), my heart is filled with so much optimism and restored faith in myself. I'm coming back home to myself. I'm intentionally starting each day with a series of positive affirmations because I need to be my biggest cheerleader if I want to create what my definition of a beautiful life will be. 

But pouring positive, self-love into myself isn't always easy. In fact, most of the time, it's really f*cking hard. I have centuries of toxic beliefs I'm fighting against - all of which tell me I'm not good enough. The societal pressures that we as women withstand can be soul-crushing. But the older I get, the more I reject what society says and lean more into following my passion. My heart's desires, and frankly - not giving a flying f*ck who looks down upon me for not following the "timeline" that our culture tries to force upon us as women. I want a magical life, full of wonder, and awe, and slow, intentional, beautiful moments. 

I watched Wish, the new Disney movie, this afternoon, and I know it was created to entertain children, but it was the beautiful reminder that I needed today. There is so much pain in the world, and life will always throw us curveballs, but there is so much joy all around us too. I've spent the last few years of my life in complete terror thinking that I'll never achieve the deepest desires in my heart. For some reason, I thought my depression was going to rob me of creating a fulfilling life. 

But as I prioritize my mental and physical well-being, and I focus on consuming uplifting content, I am reminded that everything I need to live a fulfilling life is already inside of me! I just need to have faith in myself (and God since I am Christian, but substitute in your source of spirituality here). I need to trust myself - aka know that I'll always show up for myself and can count on myself. And lately, I need to remember that I am made out of magical stardust. We all are. 

Just being alive in this sometimes scary but still quite beautiful and loving world is an act of magic. And we are our purest source of abundance as long as we learn to take care of ourselves and fill our days (and our minds) with self-love. I'm so excited to get to work and start creating a wonderful new chapter that will lead to la dolce vita. Sending you lots of love. XOXO 

P.S. Shop My Fairycore Edit 

Because I want to create an atmosphere of whimsy and enchantment all around me, and fashion is the perfect tool to do just that. 

Dresses 

Tops 

Accessories 

Spring Treats 

I am in full-on holiday mode! I love the energy and coziness that sweeps over our communities every November and December. The decor, festive food and drinks, holiday movies, curling up with a book and sipping hot chocolate by the fire, these are small luxuries that I truly cherish. 

And now that I've fallen in love with dirty martinis (with extra olives), I just want to get dolled up and sip on one in a festive NYC bar. I adore dressing up. It makes me feel confident, and it makes every experience feel a tad more special. I love looking put-together and chic, but no outfit is complete without polished nails. And I just cannot justify paying $75+ to get a mani, especially when I get bored with nail styles so quickly. 

That's why I swear by press-on nails. I get a million compliments every time I wear them so... why blow my budget on manicure upkeep when I can pay $10-$20 for an amazing set that lasts 2+ weeks? But the key to a successful press-on manicure comes down to two things: nail quality and glue quality. My three favorite brands are Kiss, OPI, and Glamnetics. 

Kiss and OPI are available everywhere, and they have strong glue and fun styles. And you can't really beat the price! But Glamnetics reigns supreme. Their nails and glue are so strong, that I can actually open a can of soda with them... but they run about $20, so I try to stock up when they go on sale. I just feel like the baddest bitch when my nails look good, so this is a little luxury that I intend to keep for years to come. 

I am so excited for my next holiday outing because I'm going to try out a new festive nail style, sip my extra dirty martini, and enjoy the small moments that make life magical. 

Manis & Martinis: Shop my favorite martini glasses and press-on nails! 

 There's nothing more magical than fall in the city. The changing color of the leaves, sun-drenched picnics, THE FASHION!!! The energy in the air is electrifying. I find inspiration in every corner, and I want to embrace the enchantment of fall... without spending a sh$t ton of money. And all the successful people reiterate that, in order to create the life you want, you must envision it first. So that's precisely what I'm doing.

I want my dreams to become my reality. And I've been standing in my own way... because part of me struggles to believe that the life I want is possible for me. Self-doubt really isn't serving me... like at all. So I'm finally going to listen to all the people I admire and spend the evening visualizing what I want this fall. After all, this is my favorite time of the year, and life is too precious to let another fall go by without indulging in all the charm that surrounds us. 

Things I love about Fall     

• Cozy nights in with pizza, wine, cashmere socks, weighted blankets and fall movie/tv marathons 
• Candle-lit dinners with soulful music 
• Hot chocolate 
• Cinnamon rolls 
• Trench coats with mini dresses 
• Tall boots with mini skirts 
• Crunchy leaves beneath my feet 
• Jazz Clubs and dessert 
• Speakeasies 
• Chunky sweaters 
• Foliage hunting 
• Dressing up for the ballet or opera 
• Sunset happy hours 
• Sipping champagne by a roaring fireplace or fire-pit 
• Stoop decor 
• Sweaterdresses 
• Halloween Celebrations 
• Comic-Con 
• Fancy soups 
• Cozy bookstores with lounges 
• Dressing up and spending time at chic wine bars while listening to a live piano performance 
• Wine-tasting and vineyard hopping 
• Football tailgates 
• Thanksgiving food 
• Evening strolls 
• Pumpkin patches 
• Mulled wine 
• Blazers 
• Tweed jackets 
• Tights and Fishnet stockings 
• Trips to Sleepy Hollow and Salem, MA 
• Renting rowboats in Central Park 
• Alfresco dining at beautiful restaurants 
• Cacao color palates 
• Olive and tan clothes 
• Antique shopping on weekend trips away 
• Cute and intimate cottage trips 
• Renaissance faires 
• Camping 
• Scenic train rides 
• Fall festivals 
• Rewatching all the Halloween movies on Disney+
• Gilmore Girls 
• Game nights with friends 
• Pumpkin-flavored everything 
• Apple picking 
• Apple cider 
• Haunted houses 
• Fall crafts 
• Hayrides 
• Bonfire parties 
• Corn mazes 
• Smores 
• Paint & Sip, Drink & Draw, Drink and Draft parties 
• Museum hopping 
• Farmers markets 
• Movies in the park 
• Harry Potter marathons 
• At-home date nights spent cuddling on the couch 
• Cozy blankets 
• Fall tablescapes 
• Costumes! 
• Seasonal nail art 
• Apartment fall/Halloween decor 
• Seasonal cocktails
• Rooftop Happy hours 
• Berry and nudy-brown lipsticks 
• Fall foliage hikes 
• Farm-to-table dining upstate 
• Wellness retreats in the countryside 
• Farm visits 
• Reading by the fire 
• Dinner parties 
• Crisp mornings 
• Chilly nights 
• Old Hollywood movie marathons 
• Journaling under the stars 

Photo by Peter Thomas

I’m going to keep this post simple and bittersweet. Mainly because I’m writing for me today, and not to contribute anything monumental to the world (although I hope someone can find this post relatable). But I like to keep it real, and the truth is, I’ve been struggling. In what feels like every aspect of life. 

I’ve been lying to myself and saying that I can handle life on my own when in reality, I want and need an intimate support system. I need deep connection, even though I sometimes find intimac tobe draining. Why, because life feels overwhelming right now. The state of humanity is overwhelming. And the idea of enduring one more emotion truly makes me thing I'll implode. 

The daily stories I see/read on the news have brought on a decently strong episode of depression. I usually cry and spiral after seeing/reading about another traumatic event. The news makes me question every aspect of my life (and humanity as a whole), and I'm truly starting to fear that there is more hate in the world than love.

But I don't want to live my life that way! I want to see the good in people, but I feel quite jaded. 

I want to stay an informed citizen & help the causes I believe in, but I'm having a hard time dealing with all the hate, pain, and trauma in the world. There’s so much going on globally and locally. And I feel like a terrible person for not dedicating my life to helping our planet and society heal. 

I feel guilty for wanting to pursue my dreams when the world is burning all around us. But at the same time, my life is ultimately finite, and I want to make it as beautiful, fun, and fulfilling as possible while I have the opportunity to do so. 

The act of balancing the grief I feel for the world while also pursuing my own version of happiness seems to get tougher and tougher each day.

But the news isn't the only thing contributing to my existential crisis. The fear that I’ll never get married, will have to wait a decade to have kids, and will have to raise them as a single parent because I'll need to select their father from a catalog at a sperm bank truly makes me lose my very fragile, burned-out mind. 

And lastly, there is one ugly truth that has been haunting me all year. I hate admitting this, but I'm allowing my fear of change and failure to hold me back from creating an extraordinary career, love life,  and lifestyle for myself.

 Looking in the mirror is hard, and I hate it! The irony in all of this is, I had to face these hard truths while traveling to beautiful destinations to be a bridesmaid in two weddings. There's nothing like being an overweight (my doctor's words, not mine, so don't come for me), single bridesmaid in your late 20s, in two weddings... within 7 days of eachother, that will give you a brutal reality check. 

If there’s anything that can make a woman feel like a failure in life, it's being surrounded by other people in love who are achieving every milestone, all while your life continues to be one big shit show.  Sometimes I think I'll fall into an abyss or collapse from the pain and loneliness that comes from realizing I'm lightyears away from creating the family I desperately desire.

That’s the beauty of being a woman: we possess the emotional capacity to be blindly happy for the people we love and celebrate them fully, while also battling depression and being terrified of staying stuck in this current phase of life. You can be so grateful to be exploring a beautiful new city, and also carrying around crippling depression. The emotional capacity we possess is truly unmatched.

The delusional story I’ve been telling myself (aka I can do bad all by myself) came crashing down on my 8 hr plane ride back to NYC. I watched “Ingrid goes west” and ended up quietly sobbing because I related to the main character’s intense feeling of loneliness and her heart-breaking confession that she feels hopeless and broken.

Although I was quite embarrassed to have cried in public, I was so proud of myself for immediately thinking, “Nia, if you’re not happy with the life you’ve created, create the life you want. Put in the effort to build the career of dreams instead of watching 5 hrs of netflix each night! Put in the effort to date so you can attract the right guy. Find a way to drastically increase your income so you can look into a.) living alone in the NYC area and b.) buying an apartment like most of your friends are doing. Freeze your eggs so you can stop freaking out about your biological clock! No one ever achieved their dreams by feeling sorry for themselves.” Yay me for positive, constructive thinking!

 Instead of wasting time having a pity party this week, I’ve been telling myself these three narratives.

a.) Every painful situation in life is temporary. But the grass will never be greener unless I train my mind to seek the beauty out even in the heaviest of times.

b.) I know that my stagnation in life is solely based on my actions, well if we’re being honest, inactions. I haven’t had the energy to do anything above the bare minimum, and that is something I'm trying to forgive myself for. But since I made my mess, that means I’m in control and very capable of cleaning it up!

And c.) suffering is optional. Obstacles, pain, grief, and problems are guaranteed in life… but suffering? Well outside of extreme cases, suffering is usually caused by us mentally beating ourselves up. And that’s a habit that we can all break by accepting help and through deep reflection.

So in closing, my little quarter-life crisis in the sky was the exact pain push I needed to get off my arse and leisurely hustle for the lifestyle and love life I want and deserve. Let’s see how extraordinary I can make my little corner of the world in 5 months. Tatah for now hauxs. And thanks for spending a little piece of your day with me. Your support means everything to me. 

Sweet summer is upon us once again, and my top priority for the season is focusing on the here and now while being grateful for everything that is in my life. And let me tell you, I've been working hard to stay in an abundant mindset. I'm talking daily journaling, affirmation card readings, prayer sessions, and mental health workshops because everyone says consistency is key. And I hate to admit it.. but "they" are right. 

So although my life is farrr from perfect, I am finding beauty in every single day I am blessed enough to walk this earth. There are so many small, frugal ways to add luxury into our lives - and for me, luxury leads to the feeling of abundance. 

A Venti Camel Cream Ice Cold Brew coffee from Starbucks fills me with so much joy, especially when paired with an inspiring podcast and a long walk on the waterfront boardwalk in jersey city. 

Cooking pasta while drinking an Aperol Spritz and enjoying the meal on my rooftop with a white table cloth and candles to set the ambiance. 

Reading a juicy book under a shady tree in the park with a fresh bowl of fruit

Watching the sunset while I paint outside

These are some of my favorite ways to add luxury and get into a state of abundance. As I count down the days until my European getaway, I am adding sweet and simple traditions to my life. Because summer is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed. It's a season of adventure, wanderlust, and play. So cheers to acting up, acting out, and showing ourselves all the love we need. 

Oops.... I've gone months without posting on my site. Yikes! It's getting to the point where I feel like a freaking broken record. Consistency is HARDDD, especially when you're battling depression and anxiety. But as I am blessed to see another year around the sun, I am ready to make fewer excuses for my level of progress and instead be curious as to why I hold on to certain limiting beliefs and why I do (or don't do) certain things. That is one of the key components to experiencing fulfillment and happiness where we are now, while also staying motivated to pursue our aspirations. Because curiosity leads to questions. Questions lead to brainstorming. And brainstorming leads to problem-solving. So as we jump into the second month of 2023,  I hope you show yourself kindness by being curious instead of judging yourself. 

And now, on to the fun stuff! I've really enjoyed a slower start to the year. Work has been pretty busy, but I've been going out less and staying in more. And I've been relishing in more simple pleasures. Plus, when it is 6 degrees outside, it's pretty hard to have fomo, because there aren't many things that can compel me to leave my apartment when it's that cold outside. 

Monthly Muses 

Green Goddess 

I am rapidly becoming obsessed with the color green, and I'd love to believe that my allure to this color is because my subconscious knows I'm stepping into a huge season of growth and flourishing. I am so excited to wear this dress out and about in NYC, along with a few other green enables I've curated. 

Fun Valentine's Day Nails 

I haven't had fake nails in years but wow... I feel like a whole new boujee bitch! I feel so feminine and dainty! Who knew that an $8 amazon purchase could bring me sooooo much joy 

Planning Porto, Portugal

One of my good friends is getting married in Portugal this summer! We were living together when she started dating her fiance, and now I get to experience them saying "I do" in one of the most magical cities in the world! And because we were roommates in jersey city for multiple years, a ton of our mutual friends with be attending the wedding (including some of my best friends who now live around the globe). Let the outfit planning and excursion research begin!! 

Weekend nights at home 

I told yall that I was going out less and staying in more. I injured my foot the other week, so I had to skip some workouts to rest. That included missing my Friday pole class and saying no to a night of dancing with friends at a local bar last Friday. I took this mandatory rest time as an opportunity to cook a fancy meal, give myself a valentine's day manicure, and batch-film fashion content. It's some of the most fun I've had in ages.. and I didn't spend a dime! 

All the murder mystery books, tv shows & movies. 

I watched Knives Out 1 and 2 last month and became obsessed with the murder mystery genre again. I then proceeded to binge-watch 3 seasons of Nany Drew (there's a supernatural twist that makes the show so so good!). And now I'm listening to The Silent Patient on Audible and reading Rock, Paper, Scissors while I'm on the train. What should I add to my list next?

Games Games Games 

Why did I wait 29 years to play shuffleboard!!?? I went two weekends ago for the first time and had a blast! After venturing out to Brooklyn, I met up with a few friends in FiDi to go to the swanky lounge Recreation to grab drinks, play board games, and skeeball. I just can't enjoy basic bars now.... the BAR has been set too high now (I can never resist an opportunity to use a pun).  

I am grateful that I've been experiencing more joy lately. December was a really dark month for me, so it's refreshing to see that with a little bit of effort, gloomy days don't have to last forever. And even with the smallest drop of faith, we can drastically improve our quality of life faster than one might think. Cheers to putting in the work and proving all the doubters wrong. Until next time! 

Ah, it finally feels like autumn is in full swing! October is probably my favorite month of the year. Between the festive and spooky decor, fall activities, Halloween costumes, events and celebrations, perfect weather, and fall fashion - October is abundant with magical moments. I firmly believe in romanticizing your life, and October makes it extremely easy to do so. 

This evening, I want to list all the things I love about fall and schedule a ton of activities (small and large) to soak up the season. I'm talking about trips to the farmers market, apple picking, baking days, cozy movie marathons, decorating, fall foliage trips, outdoor movie nights, and on and on. But for some reason, I keep hitting this huge wall of resistance that's telling me not to bother dreaming about the lifestyle I want because it's not going to happen. So I'm learning to sit with the doubt and sorrow and say "ok, I hear you brain, but these thoughts aren't facts or helpful so keep it moving brain. I'm not listening to those mean self-deprecating thoughts." 

I'm sure that waking up sick contributed to my negative thoughts spiral because all of my productive plans got thrown out the window. But at the same time, I'm learning to relish these slow days that force me to rest and are void of running around the city, void of heavy drinking, and therefore; void of crippling hangovers. So since my Sunday has been dedicated to catching up on sleep and rest, here are a few fun and frugal fall things I'm scheduling for myself this week: 

• Put up fall and Halloween decor 

• Sit down and create my budget for the rest of the year while treating myself to a pumpkin spice latte. 

• Make some extra cash through my favorite rating site - usertesting.com 

• Squeeze in a few pole and pilates classes this week (as long as I'm not sick) 

• Photograph and post all the fall pieces I've been trying to sell on curtsy 

• Spend Sunday planning and scheduling my upcoming week 

• Create my weekly menu and meal prep 

• Connect with new guys on dating apps... if I feel up to it. TBH, I HATE using dating apps, but I would love to find the right partner, and I'm aware that I need to put in the work to meet him. During the process, I keep reminding myself that what I'm seeking is also seeking me. So cheers to all of us who are focusing on cultivating healthy and happy relationships with ourselves and others. 

• Edit all the video footage I filmed last weekend. 

• Catch up on a few career and business masterclasses - I've been craving a mini fall work retreat via a pretty cabin in the woods. Imagine jetting off to a cute cabin in the woods and working on your dreams by the fireplace, sipping on a glass of wine, and looking out at a beautiful lake while the sun sets. DREAMY!!  I haven't been showing up for my some of my dreams lately and that's just not the type of person I want to be. I want to make myself proud and that starts with showing up for my business. 

• And last but certainly not least, planning my fall capsule wardrobe, I am in desperate need of all things leather - leather trench coat, leather pants, leather dresses and leather combat boots in multiple colors. Fall fashion is truly the best.