I am in full-on holiday mode! I love the energy and coziness that sweeps over our communities every November and December. The decor, festive food and drinks, holiday movies, curling up with a book and sipping hot chocolate by the fire, these are small luxuries that I truly cherish. 

And now that I've fallen in love with dirty martinis (with extra olives), I just want to get dolled up and sip on one in a festive NYC bar. I adore dressing up. It makes me feel confident, and it makes every experience feel a tad more special. I love looking put-together and chic, but no outfit is complete without polished nails. And I just cannot justify paying $75+ to get a mani, especially when I get bored with nail styles so quickly. 

That's why I swear by press-on nails. I get a million compliments every time I wear them so... why blow my budget on manicure upkeep when I can pay $10-$20 for an amazing set that lasts 2+ weeks? But the key to a successful press-on manicure comes down to two things: nail quality and glue quality. My three favorite brands are Kiss, OPI, and Glamnetics. 

Kiss and OPI are available everywhere, and they have strong glue and fun styles. And you can't really beat the price! But Glamnetics reigns supreme. Their nails and glue are so strong, that I can actually open a can of soda with them... but they run about $20, so I try to stock up when they go on sale. I just feel like the baddest bitch when my nails look good, so this is a little luxury that I intend to keep for years to come. 

I am so excited for my next holiday outing because I'm going to try out a new festive nail style, sip my extra dirty martini, and enjoy the small moments that make life magical. 

Manis & Martinis: Shop my favorite martini glasses and press-on nails! 

 There's nothing more magical than fall in the city. The changing color of the leaves, sun-drenched picnics, THE FASHION!!! The energy in the air is electrifying. I find inspiration in every corner, and I want to embrace the enchantment of fall... without spending a sh$t ton of money. And all the successful people reiterate that, in order to create the life you want, you must envision it first. So that's precisely what I'm doing.

I want my dreams to become my reality. And I've been standing in my own way... because part of me struggles to believe that the life I want is possible for me. Self-doubt really isn't serving me... like at all. So I'm finally going to listen to all the people I admire and spend the evening visualizing what I want this fall. After all, this is my favorite time of the year, and life is too precious to let another fall go by without indulging in all the charm that surrounds us. 

Things I love about Fall     

• Cozy nights in with pizza, wine, cashmere socks, weighted blankets and fall movie/tv marathons 
• Candle-lit dinners with soulful music 
• Hot chocolate 
• Cinnamon rolls 
• Trench coats with mini dresses 
• Tall boots with mini skirts 
• Crunchy leaves beneath my feet 
• Jazz Clubs and dessert 
• Speakeasies 
• Chunky sweaters 
• Foliage hunting 
• Dressing up for the ballet or opera 
• Sunset happy hours 
• Sipping champagne by a roaring fireplace or fire-pit 
• Stoop decor 
• Sweaterdresses 
• Halloween Celebrations 
• Comic-Con 
• Fancy soups 
• Cozy bookstores with lounges 
• Dressing up and spending time at chic wine bars while listening to a live piano performance 
• Wine-tasting and vineyard hopping 
• Football tailgates 
• Thanksgiving food 
• Evening strolls 
• Pumpkin patches 
• Mulled wine 
• Blazers 
• Tweed jackets 
• Tights and Fishnet stockings 
• Trips to Sleepy Hollow and Salem, MA 
• Renting rowboats in Central Park 
• Alfresco dining at beautiful restaurants 
• Cacao color palates 
• Olive and tan clothes 
• Antique shopping on weekend trips away 
• Cute and intimate cottage trips 
• Renaissance faires 
• Camping 
• Scenic train rides 
• Fall festivals 
• Rewatching all the Halloween movies on Disney+
• Gilmore Girls 
• Game nights with friends 
• Pumpkin-flavored everything 
• Apple picking 
• Apple cider 
• Haunted houses 
• Fall crafts 
• Hayrides 
• Bonfire parties 
• Corn mazes 
• Smores 
• Paint & Sip, Drink & Draw, Drink and Draft parties 
• Museum hopping 
• Farmers markets 
• Movies in the park 
• Harry Potter marathons 
• At-home date nights spent cuddling on the couch 
• Cozy blankets 
• Fall tablescapes 
• Costumes! 
• Seasonal nail art 
• Apartment fall/Halloween decor 
• Seasonal cocktails
• Rooftop Happy hours 
• Berry and nudy-brown lipsticks 
• Fall foliage hikes 
• Farm-to-table dining upstate 
• Wellness retreats in the countryside 
• Farm visits 
• Reading by the fire 
• Dinner parties 
• Crisp mornings 
• Chilly nights 
• Old Hollywood movie marathons 
• Journaling under the stars 

Photo by Peter Thomas

I’m going to keep this post simple and bittersweet. Mainly because I’m writing for me today, and not to contribute anything monumental to the world (although I hope someone can find this post relatable). But I like to keep it real, and the truth is, I’ve been struggling. In what feels like every aspect of life. 

I’ve been lying to myself and saying that I can handle life on my own when in reality, I want and need an intimate support system. I need deep connection, even though I sometimes find intimac tobe draining. Why, because life feels overwhelming right now. The state of humanity is overwhelming. And the idea of enduring one more emotion truly makes me thing I'll implode. 

The daily stories I see/read on the news have brought on a decently strong episode of depression. I usually cry and spiral after seeing/reading about another traumatic event. The news makes me question every aspect of my life (and humanity as a whole), and I'm truly starting to fear that there is more hate in the world than love.

But I don't want to live my life that way! I want to see the good in people, but I feel quite jaded. 

I want to stay an informed citizen & help the causes I believe in, but I'm having a hard time dealing with all the hate, pain, and trauma in the world. There’s so much going on globally and locally. And I feel like a terrible person for not dedicating my life to helping our planet and society heal. 

I feel guilty for wanting to pursue my dreams when the world is burning all around us. But at the same time, my life is ultimately finite, and I want to make it as beautiful, fun, and fulfilling as possible while I have the opportunity to do so. 

The act of balancing the grief I feel for the world while also pursuing my own version of happiness seems to get tougher and tougher each day.

But the news isn't the only thing contributing to my existential crisis. The fear that I’ll never get married, will have to wait a decade to have kids, and will have to raise them as a single parent because I'll need to select their father from a catalog at a sperm bank truly makes me lose my very fragile, burned-out mind. 

And lastly, there is one ugly truth that has been haunting me all year. I hate admitting this, but I'm allowing my fear of change and failure to hold me back from creating an extraordinary career, love life,  and lifestyle for myself.

 Looking in the mirror is hard, and I hate it! The irony in all of this is, I had to face these hard truths while traveling to beautiful destinations to be a bridesmaid in two weddings. There's nothing like being an overweight (my doctor's words, not mine, so don't come for me), single bridesmaid in your late 20s, in two weddings... within 7 days of eachother, that will give you a brutal reality check. 

If there’s anything that can make a woman feel like a failure in life, it's being surrounded by other people in love who are achieving every milestone, all while your life continues to be one big shit show.  Sometimes I think I'll fall into an abyss or collapse from the pain and loneliness that comes from realizing I'm lightyears away from creating the family I desperately desire.

That’s the beauty of being a woman: we possess the emotional capacity to be blindly happy for the people we love and celebrate them fully, while also battling depression and being terrified of staying stuck in this current phase of life. You can be so grateful to be exploring a beautiful new city, and also carrying around crippling depression. The emotional capacity we possess is truly unmatched.

The delusional story I’ve been telling myself (aka I can do bad all by myself) came crashing down on my 8 hr plane ride back to NYC. I watched “Ingrid goes west” and ended up quietly sobbing because I related to the main character’s intense feeling of loneliness and her heart-breaking confession that she feels hopeless and broken.

Although I was quite embarrassed to have cried in public, I was so proud of myself for immediately thinking, “Nia, if you’re not happy with the life you’ve created, create the life you want. Put in the effort to build the career of dreams instead of watching 5 hrs of netflix each night! Put in the effort to date so you can attract the right guy. Find a way to drastically increase your income so you can look into a.) living alone in the NYC area and b.) buying an apartment like most of your friends are doing. Freeze your eggs so you can stop freaking out about your biological clock! No one ever achieved their dreams by feeling sorry for themselves.” Yay me for positive, constructive thinking!

 Instead of wasting time having a pity party this week, I’ve been telling myself these three narratives.

a.) Every painful situation in life is temporary. But the grass will never be greener unless I train my mind to seek the beauty out even in the heaviest of times.

b.) I know that my stagnation in life is solely based on my actions, well if we’re being honest, inactions. I haven’t had the energy to do anything above the bare minimum, and that is something I'm trying to forgive myself for. But since I made my mess, that means I’m in control and very capable of cleaning it up!

And c.) suffering is optional. Obstacles, pain, grief, and problems are guaranteed in life… but suffering? Well outside of extreme cases, suffering is usually caused by us mentally beating ourselves up. And that’s a habit that we can all break by accepting help and through deep reflection.

So in closing, my little quarter-life crisis in the sky was the exact pain push I needed to get off my arse and leisurely hustle for the lifestyle and love life I want and deserve. Let’s see how extraordinary I can make my little corner of the world in 5 months. Tatah for now hauxs. And thanks for spending a little piece of your day with me. Your support means everything to me. 

Sweet summer is upon us once again, and my top priority for the season is focusing on the here and now while being grateful for everything that is in my life. And let me tell you, I've been working hard to stay in an abundant mindset. I'm talking daily journaling, affirmation card readings, prayer sessions, and mental health workshops because everyone says consistency is key. And I hate to admit it.. but "they" are right. 

So although my life is farrr from perfect, I am finding beauty in every single day I am blessed enough to walk this earth. There are so many small, frugal ways to add luxury into our lives - and for me, luxury leads to the feeling of abundance. 

A Venti Camel Cream Ice Cold Brew coffee from Starbucks fills me with so much joy, especially when paired with an inspiring podcast and a long walk on the waterfront boardwalk in jersey city. 

Cooking pasta while drinking an Aperol Spritz and enjoying the meal on my rooftop with a white table cloth and candles to set the ambiance. 

Reading a juicy book under a shady tree in the park with a fresh bowl of fruit

Watching the sunset while I paint outside

These are some of my favorite ways to add luxury and get into a state of abundance. As I count down the days until my European getaway, I am adding sweet and simple traditions to my life. Because summer is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed. It's a season of adventure, wanderlust, and play. So cheers to acting up, acting out, and showing ourselves all the love we need. 

Oops.... I've gone months without posting on my site. Yikes! It's getting to the point where I feel like a freaking broken record. Consistency is HARDDD, especially when you're battling depression and anxiety. But as I am blessed to see another year around the sun, I am ready to make fewer excuses for my level of progress and instead be curious as to why I hold on to certain limiting beliefs and why I do (or don't do) certain things. That is one of the key components to experiencing fulfillment and happiness where we are now, while also staying motivated to pursue our aspirations. Because curiosity leads to questions. Questions lead to brainstorming. And brainstorming leads to problem-solving. So as we jump into the second month of 2023,  I hope you show yourself kindness by being curious instead of judging yourself. 

And now, on to the fun stuff! I've really enjoyed a slower start to the year. Work has been pretty busy, but I've been going out less and staying in more. And I've been relishing in more simple pleasures. Plus, when it is 6 degrees outside, it's pretty hard to have fomo, because there aren't many things that can compel me to leave my apartment when it's that cold outside. 

Monthly Muses 

Green Goddess 

I am rapidly becoming obsessed with the color green, and I'd love to believe that my allure to this color is because my subconscious knows I'm stepping into a huge season of growth and flourishing. I am so excited to wear this dress out and about in NYC, along with a few other green enables I've curated. 

Fun Valentine's Day Nails 

I haven't had fake nails in years but wow... I feel like a whole new boujee bitch! I feel so feminine and dainty! Who knew that an $8 amazon purchase could bring me sooooo much joy 

Planning Porto, Portugal

One of my good friends is getting married in Portugal this summer! We were living together when she started dating her fiance, and now I get to experience them saying "I do" in one of the most magical cities in the world! And because we were roommates in jersey city for multiple years, a ton of our mutual friends with be attending the wedding (including some of my best friends who now live around the globe). Let the outfit planning and excursion research begin!! 

Weekend nights at home 

I told yall that I was going out less and staying in more. I injured my foot the other week, so I had to skip some workouts to rest. That included missing my Friday pole class and saying no to a night of dancing with friends at a local bar last Friday. I took this mandatory rest time as an opportunity to cook a fancy meal, give myself a valentine's day manicure, and batch-film fashion content. It's some of the most fun I've had in ages.. and I didn't spend a dime! 

All the murder mystery books, tv shows & movies. 

I watched Knives Out 1 and 2 last month and became obsessed with the murder mystery genre again. I then proceeded to binge-watch 3 seasons of Nany Drew (there's a supernatural twist that makes the show so so good!). And now I'm listening to The Silent Patient on Audible and reading Rock, Paper, Scissors while I'm on the train. What should I add to my list next?

Games Games Games 

Why did I wait 29 years to play shuffleboard!!?? I went two weekends ago for the first time and had a blast! After venturing out to Brooklyn, I met up with a few friends in FiDi to go to the swanky lounge Recreation to grab drinks, play board games, and skeeball. I just can't enjoy basic bars now.... the BAR has been set too high now (I can never resist an opportunity to use a pun).  

I am grateful that I've been experiencing more joy lately. December was a really dark month for me, so it's refreshing to see that with a little bit of effort, gloomy days don't have to last forever. And even with the smallest drop of faith, we can drastically improve our quality of life faster than one might think. Cheers to putting in the work and proving all the doubters wrong. Until next time!