Photo by Jamie Street

- be sure to link to Marie Forleo's 3 part series

Marie Foleo has been one of my icons for a few years. so when she released this three-part Decade in Review Series on Youtube, I knew it was mandatory for me to complete it. I was having so much resistance when it came to this exercise. Maybe because I've been pretty disappointed in myself for how much I didn't accomplish in 2019. But when I look back at the 2010s, I'm actually quite proud of what I achieved and what I and my family overcame. It's been full of so many highs and extreme lows. But I've finally come to understand that I shouldn't pursue a problem-free life. That's not what will help me live out my dreams. Instead, I will pursue cultivating the emotional grit and discipline that I will need in order to live the life I know I am capable of living.

And in the spirit of loving myself more, I have to forgive myself for all the mistakes and for taking time to heal in 2019. Hey, I didn't quit and sometimes that's all that's required of us. Every season can't be one of exponential achievements whether that be in our careers, finances or personal relationships. So 2019 was far from my finest year. That's ok because I needed this slow chapter in order to become the person I need to be in my next chapter. I know a lot of other people who can admit that 2019 kicked their butts. But guess what, we still here! And now we are stronger than ever. If you still need a little time to rest before focusing on your goals, I think that's totally fine. Babysteps are still productive and healing is the most productive thing we can do to set us up for success.

So now that I've had a chance to learn so many freaking lessons (the hard way since I can be hardheaded), I can see clearly what I want to pursue during the 2020s and eliminate all the toxic habits that were holding me back. Uh, it feels so good to let go. I refuse to put pressure on myself to achieve everything I want to do in one year. I am grateful for every day I have on this earth. I hope the Lord blesses me with a long life so I can focus on enjoying these different chapters instead of beating myself up for not being "good enough". Cheers to a new chapter. I hope my list below encourages you to do this exercise for yourself. After all, how can we live the life we want if we don't take time to figure out what it is we actually want?

My 10 Mega Goals for the Next Decade

1. I will be completely debt-free! Well, my goal is to actually be debt-free by the time I'm 30 (4 years). Reckless spending and student loans have caused me so much anxiety, fear, and shame. But I have certainly learned from my mistakes and I recognize the financial and social distractions I want to remove from my life in order to be one step closer to freedom. I'll share more details about my total money makeover plan this month.

2. I will build financial-freedom (and generational wealth) so I can work when I want, where I want and not sacrifice a nice lifestyle. The four-hour workweek has been on my reading list for ages, but part of me has been hesitant to read it because I am not able to live a lifestyle like that... so far. But I realize that the harder I work now, the sooner I'll be able to be my own boss, control my own schedule, and dedicate more time to charitable causes. 

3. I will turn this blogging platform into a multi-faceted business! This is what I am most excited about. I know so many people say the blogging industry is dead, but I don't care. I love writing. I love creating content. I love sharing all the helpful resources, products and organizations I discover. I love sharing my fashion sense and my journey of becoming the woman of my own dreams. But most of all, I love how this blog and social media have allowed me to connect with so many wonderful people (aka you). We encourage each other and that always fills my heart. I know so many incredible women who used their blogs to launch businesses so they can live life on their own terms. It's time for me to believe that I can do the same instead of living in fear.

4. I will travel to every continent. There are so many places I want to travel to. I want to experience so many different walks of life, and I hope to do so with my friends and my future significant other.  But if I stay single for the rest of my life, I still plan to extensively travel during the next decade... after I meet some of my financial goals. The world is filled with so much love and beauty, and I want to see and document it.

5. I will adopt a cleaner lifestyle across my diet, household goods, beauty products, and shopping habits. The more I learn about the processed food and chemicals we are constantly exposed to in all the products we buy, the sicker I feel about it. I don't think I'll ever be able to be a vegan or something like that, but I can shift to a more sustainable lifestyle in every aspect of my life. Not just for my sake, but also for the sake of the environment.

6. I will be more open to love and accepting others for who they are while still staying true to my boundaries. I totally admit that I have not made the best decisions when it comes to navigating the dating world. I am trying to learn how to uphold all of my boundaries and standards without expecting anyone to be perfect. Luckily, I am still pretty young and am in no rush to get married, but I do not want to put up with mistreatment or disrespect. So mindful dating is the only way I'm going to date in this next decade. That means I have to accept that I'll probably have a ton of first, second or third dates that lead absolutely nowhere, but I'm finally ok with. Practice makes perfect after all. And I know that as I continue to focus on my values and priorities, I will attract a guy who shares the same vision. In the meantime, I'll keep developing my friend group so I have more people to celebrate milestones with.

7. I will compete or perform in tasteful venues/events. My friend Georiga does this and she is such an inspiration to me. NYC provides so many opportunities to perform at galas, holiday parties, festivals, competitions, burlesque shows and more. It's time for me to pursue this dream again. I grew on competitive dance teams and always LOVED having an intense dance routine to perfect for performances and competitions. Time to bring that back into my life.

8. I will create a career that I am excited about. Everyone who is still at the beginning of their careers in Fashion PR knows that it is hard to stay happy when you are paid pennies and fucking live in one of the most expensive cities in the world (most Fashion PR jobs don't pay well for the first few years so if you are pursuing that goal, have a side hustle from the beginning - I wish someone had told me this from the jump). But I know every career step I take is preparing me for my proper place in the working world. So patience and grit are what I plan to keep cultivating so I don't lose sight of the big picture.


9. I will start a family during this decade. I am excited to create so many incredible memories with my friends before settling down, but I deeply want to start a family in my 30s. Luckily, my 30s are a good few years away, and I am nowhere near ready to start my own family. I still want to spend my 20s focusing on creating a solid foundation and supporting my future partner's dreams while I pursue my own. But I know deep in my heart that I want to have my first child in my 30s. Will my life align with this plan? IDK. I want to build financial wealth before bringing children into my life. And I would like to raise kids with that special someone, but if I'm not meant to have a husband by my side, I'll just need to save for a little longer before having kids on my own. It's kind of insane that I have to think about this now. But hey, I know that having a family is something I want. And I want my kids to have every opportunity in the world... opportunities and experiences come with a price so saving and investing for my future and my future family's future starts now.

10. I will practice gratitude every single day. I definitely spent most of 2019 focusing on everything that was "wrong" in my life and believing there was something "wrong" with me instead of walking through each day with gratitude and joy. I want to find that happy medium where I can keep working to improve my life while appreciating everything I already have and having a smile on my face. I hope this is a goal for everyone I meet.

This was a pretty raw post. It's scary to put this in writing on the internet for everyone to see. But now you can all hold me accountable. It's a blessing and a curse. If you want to be accountability partners, feel free to share your goals in the comments below. We can navigate the path to creating a beautiful life together. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Your support means so much to me. It's something I will never take for granted. Happy New Year and Happy New Decade!

Photo by Michael Fousert

Every time I open my phone, I see a new post, article or meme encouraging me to start planning for the new year. And although I LOVE planning, I am feeling some resistance every time I sit down to reflect and set new goals. I know it's crucial for me to do so in order to keep building the life that I want. But if I'm being completely honest, there's a little voice that has been popping up in the back of my head, telling me that I'm not capable of achieving my dreams. I don't like that voice. I have to let those thoughts pass by me instead of indulging in them. But that little nagging sense of self-doubt has made it hard to actually sit down and plan for the next decade or figure out the distractions in my life that are making me miserable.

So I did what any socially savvy millennial would do. I turned to my favorite motivational IG accounts to help me transcend this anxiety and remind myself that I'm a queen who will have everything I want in due time. Goodness, I just need to take a deep breath and stop freaking myself out. I've included some of my favorite finds below; I hope these quotes help you feel more motivated and confident as we walk into this new decade. As long as we manage our anxiety and keep cultivating confidence, it's only a matter of time before we make our own dreams come true. Sending you all the love and joy this season. Your support means the world to me, and I never want you to forget that.

Quotes from: bossbabeinc, mindfulheart_, Life of a Single Girl

Photo: Nia Washington

We are blessed to ring in the new year and I’m so grateful that I have a source of income, a loving partner, loyal friends and to still have my mom and brother despite the rough year they both had with their health. I’m a firm believer in positive thinking, setting intentions and making moves to have the lives we want... but sometimes you might need a break from being positive. I know I’ve been in a very angry and frustrated place lately, so before I reflect on the lessons I learned in 2018 and figure out what steps I should take in 2019 to get closer to my goals, I’m writing a fuck it list. Why? Because I am taking more control in my life, fighting for what I want and letting go of the rest. So without further ado, here is a list of everything I’m saying “fuck that shit” to in 2019: