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Wellness
How to Cope with the Negative & Overwhelming News Cycle
August 22, 2019
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| Photo by Branden Harvey |
*Disclaimer: I'm about to have a "she doesn't even go here" mean girls moment and get real sappy. You've been warned.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I like to pretend that I live in a faraway land where everyone is nice to each other. In this mythical place, people approach the differences in others with love, respect and intrigue, and violence is not a constant reality nor is it normalized. Yeah, that's a nice little daydream, but I know that it is far from how our world operates today.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I like to pretend that I live in a faraway land where everyone is nice to each other. In this mythical place, people approach the differences in others with love, respect and intrigue, and violence is not a constant reality nor is it normalized. Yeah, that's a nice little daydream, but I know that it is far from how our world operates today.
I've had quite a few discussions with friends recently about how we are experiencing extreme levels of anxiety. Between the mass shootings, a surplus of hate crimes, families that have been torn apart by the current administration, global warming and police misconduct, it's no surprise that most of my friends and I have trouble sleeping at night or have become way too familiar with panic attacks. But just because there is a ton of chaos in the world, that doesn't mean there also isn't a ton of good!
I am constantly researching ways to cheer myself up after reading the news. It's a tricky spot to be in because I want to stay aware of everything that is happening around the globe, but I also have had quite an amount of breakdowns after reading the news. I'm constantly on edge while doing the most mundane activities because I'm afraid that if I go to the movies, there could be a mass shooting or if I go to the grocery store at the wrong time, there could be a mass shooting or if I go to the wrong workout class, there could be a mass shooting. Or if I walk by the wrong police officer, I could get murdered.. you guys get the point. Most of us are on edge all the fucking time! And this is such an unhealthy way to live. So I've started seeking out a few different resources to help me calm the f down and learn to cope with the current state of the world. I wanted to share what I do to take care of my sanity because I know this is not a problem that is unique to me. I hope this list helps you find a little more peace in your day. And if you have any coping mechanisms, please share them below. I want us to support each other in every way possible.
What I do to cheer myself up after reading the news.
- Mobile Journaling - Although I love the ritual of writing in a physical journal with a beautiful pen, it's not always the easiest thing to carry around or whip out when you are on the go. One of my favorite new habits has been using my phone as a journal. I started a folder in my inotes app that is dedicated solely to journaling. This way, when I'm feeling super anxious, I can express myself, collect my thoughts and reassure myself that everything will be ok.
- I look at a lot of memes. This is the fastest way to cheer myself up. Laughter truly is the best medicine. Here is one of my favorite meme accounts on Instagram.
- I seek out positive news sources. Although I love my daily newsletters from Katie Couric and other sources, I NEED to read about a lot more positive things that are happening around the world. The Good News Newsletter by The Week is an amazing resource for happier news. I like that they actually share heartfelt, impactful stories instead of just fluff news. I signed up for their newsletter via my work email so I actually see it every week and am more likely to read it.
- I watch Queer Eye. It's one of the best reminders of humanity in the world. Wine and Queer Eye are an excellent combination... just saying.
- I chat with my friends about the current news. I have pretty amazing friends who are all very compassionate people. The news typically emotionally impacts them just as much as it impacts me. So discussing our thoughts usually makes me feel 10000 times better. It always helps me feel less alone and like our world has a fighting chance.
- I step away from technology and treat myself to a nice, warm cup of tea. We all know about the soothing health benefits tea, but have you ever thought about grabbing tea instead of coffee when you are stressed or feeling really down. The warm cup feels like a mini little hug. I believe there are a few studies that discuss the psychological benefits of holding a warm beverage.
- My last tip is to research ways to get involved. One time, I heard this great quote, "If an injustice makes you angry, that’s a sign that you should do something about it." So if reading an article makes you want to scream into a pillow, brings you to tears or want to punch something, hop on Google and find a reputable place to donate money to that cause or volunteer your time. The best way to feel better about the state of the world is to actively contribute to making it better.
Now it's your turn homie. Let me know in the comments what you do to get over the emotional hangover that usually lingers after reading the news? I'm so happy that we have each other to lean on when times get tough. That's one thing I love about the internet; it allows us to expand our support system in ways that were never possible before. Thank you so much for spending time reading this! I love and appreciate you soooooo much more than you could ever know. Until next time my friend.
February Mood Board
February 6, 2018
So far, 2018 has felt ... weird. I'm not exactly sure why, but I know I want to be more present than I was in January. I'll admit that I was in a daze in January, but I refuse to let life keep passing me by. I’m a little in shock that it’s already February. There’s a lot I should focus on this month. But honestly, I already need a mini vacation. So this month, I’m focusing on two things: celebrating any and every obstacle I overcome (no matter how small it is) and checking my judgmental attitude at the front door. I want to judge myself and others waaaayyy less than I do. Should I eat cleaner and stop binge-watching Netflix shows after a long day of work? Yep, but like I said, I really need a vacation and self-forgiveness for my slip-ups. That's why I’m channeling flow and ease this month. I'm still going to push myself to keep moving towards my goals, but I'm finally accepting that my timeline might not be the same as God's timeline. Great things take time, and we are allowed to take pit stops on our journey towards our dreams. Less stress and more fun! That sounds like a much better life than stress, stress, stress and a little bit of fun every now and then. It's all just a balancing act, and once we find the right balance between work and play, we'll feel more aligned and have more energy to get the important things done. It just takes time to figure it out. Afterall "perseverance is a great substitute for talent" - Steve Martin
So now I want to hear from you! What are you guys focusing on this month? No matter what goals you set for yourself, I know you'll create the magical life you want. You know you deserve it. And I can't thank you enough for taking time out of your day to read this little note from me. Wishing you a day full of flow, ease and happiness! Until next time.
Weekly Update 01.20.18
January 20, 2018
Live it up: Here’s how to make a $10 wine bottle taste hella more expensive. You are welcome.
Wanderlust: Need a mini-retreat? I know I do, and these top liked Airbnbs around the world (a lot are right here in the USA) have me checking flight prices.
I also found this article about 5 under-the-radar french cities to visit… I need to go to all of them this year! It’s happening because I said so.
And if you’re looking to check more festivals off your list this year, here are 11 amazing festivals around the world that we should all start saving for.
Smart Money tip of the week (Because you’re too good to be a broke bitch): It's Not Just HQ Trivia: These 10 Apps Will Legit Make You Money - Girlboss.com Multiple streams of income are always better than one honey.
Get fit: Everything you need to know about an anti-inflammatory diet.
Shop til you drop: Spotlight sale of the week: Stuart Weitzman is offering up to 50% off until 1/31, so if you want an investment piece of designer, quality over the knee boots, now’s your chance to get them at a fraction of the price!
And here are some of my favorite budget finds from the week featuring Stuart Weitzman and Shein (an amazing wholesale site) just in time for Valentine’s Day. I love this website, but you have to read every single item’s measurements and reviews because the sizes really vary. If you don’t know your measurements, grab a tape measure from your kitchen so you can know your accurate size. Oh, and this section includes affiliate links.
Live Well: Here’s a cute and helpful infographic breaking down easy ways for us to take care of ourselves. The ABCs to self-care.
Menu: I heard about Snow Days NYC one day at work this week. Honestly, I don’t care that it’s winter; I need to try this dessert place ASAP!
What the world needs is love: It’s no secret that our world has some pretty f*ed up people in it, but here are two legitimate ways to contribute to making the world a better place today.
- Help the children. There is a disgusting and heart-breaking epidemic going on in Pakistan right now. If you haven’t heard about the protests in Pakistan to take down a pedophile ring that’s been abusing and killing little children, you can read about it here. I haven't found a site explaining exactly how to help, but we can at least spread awareness and align ourselves with organizations that fight to end human trafficking. #JusticeForZainab
- Help Rohingya Refugees in Myanmar and Bangladesh who have gone through actual hell. Read more about the crisis here.
Weekly Wins
1.) This week was my bday! I’m now 24; and oddly, I feel more secure. 23 was a mother effing rough ass year, and 24 already feels calmer. There’s something about even numbered years. Things just seem to fall into place. Plus, I feel more grateful for everything nowadays. My constant “don’t listen to the negative voice inside my head” exercises are finally paying off. Plus, my birthday is the perfect excuse to treat myself to a few things off my monthly luxe list..aka wish list. Check it out here.
2. ) Riverdale came back. Y’all, my roommate and I are obsessed with this show, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Also, I get so much fashion inspiration from Riverdale. That’s a key factor for me becoming obsessed with a show.
3. I got back in my gym flow. I didn’t make it to all of my classes, but I made it to 3, which is a lot better than zero. And I went to power yoga, which completely whipped my butt. I was limping all day at work, but at least I know I’m one step closer to my fitness goals.
Weekly Ls
1.)Not waking up early. I’ve been trying to wake up around 6am every morning, but it just did not happen this week. I’m getting myself used to a morning routine so I have time to meditate, spend some time surfing the internet, work on my blog and take my time while getting ready for work. Next week, I’m committing to going to bed between 10:30 and 11pm. I know next week is my week to master this.
2.)Blowing my budget. Since it was my birthday week, so I gave myself permission to blow the weekly budget and eat out way more than I should have. Now I'm ready to get back on my meal prepping game and save some precious deniero.
3.)The House of Horrors in California. If you haven’t heard, 13 siblings were held captive and tortured by their parents. It’s a blessing that one of the siblings escaped and now all 13 siblings are receiving medical and psychiatric help. But damn! This family has been through hell. These siblings will never have normal lives, no matter how much professional help they receive. Here is an article breaking down how we can help them. If you guys have found other, legitimate sites that allow us to donate to this family, please link them below in the comments. It’s going to take a lot of financial resources to help them establish a healthy lifestyle, and they deserve it after everything they've experienced.
1.)Not waking up early. I’ve been trying to wake up around 6am every morning, but it just did not happen this week. I’m getting myself used to a morning routine so I have time to meditate, spend some time surfing the internet, work on my blog and take my time while getting ready for work. Next week, I’m committing to going to bed between 10:30 and 11pm. I know next week is my week to master this.
2.)Blowing my budget. Since it was my birthday week, so I gave myself permission to blow the weekly budget and eat out way more than I should have. Now I'm ready to get back on my meal prepping game and save some precious deniero.
3.)The House of Horrors in California. If you haven’t heard, 13 siblings were held captive and tortured by their parents. It’s a blessing that one of the siblings escaped and now all 13 siblings are receiving medical and psychiatric help. But damn! This family has been through hell. These siblings will never have normal lives, no matter how much professional help they receive. Here is an article breaking down how we can help them. If you guys have found other, legitimate sites that allow us to donate to this family, please link them below in the comments. It’s going to take a lot of financial resources to help them establish a healthy lifestyle, and they deserve it after everything they've experienced.
Quote: “Nothing new can come into your life until you are grateful for what you already have” - Guest on an old episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show
As always, thanks for taking a part of your day to read this. I hope you found some useful information, and if there's a new category that you want me to add to my weekly update/finds, let me know in the comments! I hope you have a lovely weekend! Lots of love my dears!
As always, thanks for taking a part of your day to read this. I hope you found some useful information, and if there's a new category that you want me to add to my weekly update/finds, let me know in the comments! I hope you have a lovely weekend! Lots of love my dears!
December Challenge: Have More Fun!
December 4, 2017
Ah! It’s finally December, aka it's socially acceptable to do every single holiday activity we can think of. There’re beautiful decorations everywhere we look, Christmas music is blasting in almost every store and restaurant, holiday movies are playing 24/7, everyone is in a charitable mood and shopping trips become fun adventures. If you’re obsessed with the winter holiday season like mwah, these simple things make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. And I want to soak up all of it!
So this month, I’m challenging all of us to have more fun! The holidays can be a really stressful and sad time (booking flights, finding the perfect Christmas presents, juggling family obligations, missing loved ones who are no longer here) but I’m determined to embrace the positive side of the holidays this year.
My family spent all of Christmas 2014 visiting my dad who was in a state of vegetation until he passed away three months later. We are still trying to find the right balance between honoring his memory while still enjoying the season, a challenge that all families who’ve lost loved ones battle each year. I know how easy it is to spend this season upset, depressed or stressed out, but life is too short and precious to not celebrate while we have the chance.
So its my goal to remind us all of how blessed we are, regardless of the trauma, pain and hardships we’ve faced in the past. I’d be lying to you if I said I was happy for most of the year. 2017, overall, was more brutal than I expected. But I experienced more growth than ever before and realized how important it is to take care of myself before I hit my breaking point. There’s nothing wrong with it, in fact it’s responsible!
I also realized that letting my sorrows get the best of me is stopping me from showing up in life and just having fun! One reason I love this season is because fun activities are all around us and at all price points. It’s hard not to have fun. From ice skating to curling up with a cup of hot chocolate and binge watching Christmas movies, you can embrace a lot of seasonal activities without draining your bank account.
I’m really over being sad or anxious all of time! I’m taking responsibility for my thoughts and my emotions. Although I can’t control what pops up in my heart and head, I can choose to not focus on them or use those thoughts and feelings to steer me in a positive direction. I've already decided that this Christmas is going to be amazing.
I’m making a looooong list of activities that I want to enjoy before the year ends, and I plan to use this list as my guide and embrace December. How are you planning to make time for more play this season?
And in between fun, seasonal activities, when I start feeling overwhelmed, I’ll breathe, take a quick walk around the block and remind myself of how far I’ve come and how much abundance is in my life. I hope you’ll do the same. I'll be checking in with you guys weekly on Instagram Stories to let you know how I'm doing with this challenge and to see what you guys are doing. Happy holidays my friends, and thank you for taking a moment of your day to read this.
Weekly Reads: Thanksgiving Edition
November 23, 2017
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| photo: Photo by rawpixel.com |
Food For the Soul: I've been binge watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday episodes on Youtube this week, and they've been helping me push through a ton of funk. These episodes feature amazing leaders who specialize in wellness, activism, overcoming addiction and depression, pushing yourself to achieve the unthinkable and so much more. I really loved the Gary Zukav: The New Perception of Community with Oprah Winfrey episode. It was so different from what I expected, and it made me think about the soul and how we spend our time in this lifetime. It's almost an hour long, so if you have the time, I highly recommend it. Some of the Super Soul Sunday episodes are under 15 minutes, which is perfect if you're short on time.
Smart Money Tip of the Week (Because you’re too good to be a broke bitch): Tis the season to get carried away and spend way more money than you actually have! But, here's an amazing guide to get all of us bak on track! 3 Key Strategies For How To Pay Off Your Credit Card Debt Faster. Yeah; we've totally got this!
Tis the Season: Prep yourselves babydolls. Thanksgiving can be ... tiring. But here's a guide to help you deal with all those cringe-worthy moments. 15 Awkward Thanksgiving Interactions To Prep Yourself For.
Menu: Here are the top trendy foods for this holiday season. The more you know.
Weekend Fun: Animal Crossing is finally available on our smart phones. This is the best and worst thing to happen to me because this was my all-time favorite GameCube game back in the day. I was borderline addicted, and I have a feeling I'll be obsessed with it again as soon as I download it. That's not going to stop me from playing the game, but I'm accepting that this might be an issue down the road.
Shop Til You Drop! - Black Friday and Cyber Monday Sales:
- Topshop - 50% off + free shipping 11/22-11/27
- Revolve - Up to 50 % off sale items!
- Macys - 20% off with the code HURRY 11/22-11/25
- Shopbop - Up to 75% off sale items and 30% off full-priced items with the code MORE
Currently Loving:... Guys, Target has silver jingle bell napkin rings and Pottery Barn has them in gold. I might die if I don't get my hands on these!! I need them. Think about how beautiful your table setting could be with these beauties! I really want to host a holiday brunch or dinner this year, and the last thing I want is to throw a basic af party. Therefore, I need these. Case closed. I'm hitting up Target and Pottery Barn next week and going hard in the holiday decor section.
Quotes To Live By: “No one truly interesting was ever universally liked’ - Carl from Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce.
Wellness Challenge #3: Make the Most of Your Time
October 30, 2017
Is anyone else in shock that Halloween is tomorrow? So insane! I’m sad that October is over, but at least the weather is finally cool. It actually feels like fall. I am taking full advantage of the rest of fall. I’m even working on an end-of-fall bucket list that I’ll share with you guys later this week. As for now, it’s time for another wellness challenge! This time, I want to focus on cutting back on my Netflix binging habits.
I love a great weekend where I order seamless and binge a few shows (aka Riverdale). But I’ve noticed that I’ve been having these binge watching sessions on the weekdays too. And although it was a ton of fun blowing off my responsibilities this past week, I ended up being so anxious about everything I’ve been avoiding and feeing too overwhelmed to do anything... not healthy Nia. So for the next two weeks, I’m gonna schedule in my “do nothing time”.
I think everyone needs to rest and just not do anything every now and then, but since I’m working on multiple goals (ie. improving my health and fitness, making more money, running this blog after my day job, dating in the city, trying to network in my field, stepping up my style and beauty game and making more friends), I can’t afford to check out every single night after work, but if I block off one or two hours a day to unwind will help me relax without feeling guilty. Call me an optimist, but I'm pretty confident that scheduling these “I’m not doing anything right now” sessions is going to make a huge difference.
I believe penciling in this time will encourage anyone to take advantage of their downtime AND their productivity time! It’s definitely going to take a lot of discipline, but it will be worth it. Plus, you can always create a reward for yourself to help you stay motivated. I have my eye on a beautiful velvet jacket, so if I stay on track, I’m treating myself to it.
So now I want to hear from you! Maybe you haven’t been making the most of your time, but you have goals you want to achieve and things you want to do. It’s never too late to make a change. We are totally going to have everything we want, but like I’ve said before, it’s not just going to fall in our laps. I hope you take on this challenge with me, and I can’t wait to hear from you guys in the comment section below. Cheers to a happy and productive Fall!
Wellness Challenge #2: How to tackle anxiety
October 16, 2017
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| Photo by Alisa Anton |
1. Count forwards and backwards to the number 5, five times while deeply inhaling and exhaling.
I learned this trick from the amazing Mel Robbins. Honestly, you can really calm yourself down if you just take a few seconds to breath and recenter yourself. This is one of my favorite tricked because you can do it anytime, anywhere and no one will notice! When you do this, you realize that you can handle whatever is causing you anxiety. You’re strong enough and smart enough to get through this. You might not think that you are, but trust me; you are, and I’m always right. So there! Now you have no excuse but to believe that you are strong and smart enough to handle this obstacle.
2. Write down what's bothering us, why it’s bothering us, and actions we can take to solve or move past the broken down problem.
This step helps me because it's a reminder that no matter the outcome, I’ll always have myself once this is over, ensuring that I’ll be ok. Then I also brainstorm everything I can do to fix this problem. For example, one of the MANY things I was anxious as hell about this weekend is my love life. I was telling myself all of these toxic lies such as “I’m not pretty enough to get the type of man I want to commit to me,” “don’t smile at that cute guy on the train because he wants someone who looks like her, not like you Nia,” or “you’re not successful enough yet to be with the type of guy you want.”
These are all terrible, untrue things, and why was I even telling myself this story? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Attraction isn’t a universal truth. It’s subjective, not objective and I’m not a freaking mind reader, so that cute guy in front of me at startbucks might think I’m an angel sent from above or he might not.
Number two, if someone only cares about my physical appearance, they aren't the person for me. Yes,having enough self-respect to present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident is very important, but looks should never be the foundation of a healthy relationship. Guess what the real catch is... it doesn’t matter what that stranger thinks of me at all. Yes, I truly believe that love is the most important thing to experience in life, but I should be practicing self-love on a daily basis instead of putting my self-worth in the hands of other people. I'd be lying if I said this is an easy mindset to fix, but I know I should never depend on anyone else to feel fulfilled.
Some of the actionable steps I can take to fix my irrational fear of being single for all eternity are:
1.) I can devote more time to taking care of my physical and emotional state so I look, but most importantly, feel my best.
2.) I can repeat a positive quote to myself whenever I don’t feel confident. This will boost my energy and change my mindset. Confident people are attracted to other confident people, so in this case, taking a break from dating and focusing on boosting that self confidence is essential.
3.) I can push myself to be more active and social so I meet more people. Go to that hiking meet up event. Take up that happy hour invitation and talk to at least 3 new people! I won't die from being a little social. Netflix can wait.
I use this list exercise for just about every aspect of my life: my career, apartment hunting, expanding my social circle, making more money... literally everything. Once I have my problems down on paper and brainstorm small things I can do to fix them; I feel like I can breathe again and put down the pint of ice cream I've been binge eating to distract myself.
3. Freaking cry
Sometimes you really just need to cry to get all of the pressure and anxiety out of your system. There’s nothing wrong with crying every now and then. It’s great for your facial tissue. I do believe there’s such a thing as too much crying though (ie. me every single morning my second semester of senior year of college (2016) when I stretched myself too thin in order to avoid dealing with my father’s death). So if you find yourself crying multiple times a week, I don’t think it hurts to explore seeking help from a professional. Believe me, no one should feel tortured by their thoughts 24/7. Life is meant to be beautiful, and I refuse to let us be held hostage by our own minds.
What do you do to help battle anxiety? I can't wait to hear from you guys, and if you need someone to talk to, feel free to email me. Also, here's a cute puppy gif if you need something to help you smile today.
Dear Diary: How To Become The Person You Want To Be
October 5, 2017
Today, I wanted to share something a little more personal. Ever since I decided to commit to building my blog, I've felt reconnected to myself, but I have been struggling with being productive lately. I constantly find myself wanting to accomplish so much (in all aspects of my life), but finding myself drained or too overwhelmed to take action. And I am so freaking sick of it. I’m sick of holding myself back, so today, I’m sharing a little exercise I did for myself. I wrote down a set of self-affirmations to tell myself that I'm already the person I want to be. All I know is no one is going to magically come in and push me towards my goals. I have to push myself, and so do you. We can do this, but we have to work for it. I was inspired to do this exercise by Tom Bilyeu of impact theory. And I can honestly say, taking 5 minutes out of my workday to write these statements down pulled me out of an approaching anxiety attack. If we want to be the best version of ourselves, we won't get there by wishing for things to happen. We get there by taking small, repetitive actions, and one of those actions is telling ourselves " I'm the type of person who (insert your goal)." Here's what i wrote down today.
I’m the type of person who doesn't work on my blog while lying down. (I always fall asleep when I do, and I'm over it.)
I’m the type of person who pushes through her feelings to tackle the things I really want in life. i.e.) I might feel like binge watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia instead of meal prepping or eating that slice of pizza after the gym, but I'm not going to self sabotage anymore.
I’m the type of person who always finds a way to solve my problems because everything is #figureoutable – thanks Marie Forleo!
I’m the type of person who shows up 100% at my job, in my workout and dance classes, when socializing and when working on my side hustles. If I’m going to half-ass something, there’s no point in doing it at all. Of course, I make resting a priority because I never want to deal with burn-out again, but when I'm not resting, I'm giving it my all.
What are you pushing yourself towards or being pulled by?
Do you want that job promotion? Are you running your own business?
Are you trying to ace this school semester? Do you want to take your relationships to the next level or just find your perfect life-partner?
Well, the only way to get there is to push yourself and PRIORITIZE. It’s the hard truth, but we ARE ready for this, even if we don’t feel like we are (and trust, I don't feel ready but I'm gonna do it anyway).
What type of person do you plan to become? Leave a comment down below! And let me know if you want to see a post about how I’ve been learning to prioritize my time! It’s definitely a work in progress, but I know that stepping stones lead to success.
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