Photo by Alina Stiba

Hi friends,

I'm happy to be back. Sorry, I took a break from the blog last week; I just couldn't make myself write, even though I really wanted to. But instead of beating myself up all week long, I only beat myself up part of the week for blowing off my responsibilities... LOL progress. But hey, baby steps in the right direction add up quickly. I'm proud of myself for not degrading myself all week long for not hitting all of my goals last week. And now it's spring in the city. If you've never been to NYC, Jersey City or Hoboken, I highly recommend making the trip. The weather is actually perfect right now, everyone is a little bit nicer on the sidewalk and rooftops are opening back up for the year.

Between grabbing a great book or inspiring magazine to read along the river or in the park, listening to a stimulating or hilarious podcast while walking around the neighborhood or taking an outside workout class, Spring offers so many opportunities to do small things by yourself, for yourself that feed your soul. I think it's vital to soak up as much sun as possible (while wearing sunscreen of course) while we can before it gets too hot to go on a 20-minute walk without melting. I hope you make sometime this week to go on an evening walk or spend some time in the park next weekend. Scheduling short little breaks are some of my favorite ways to reset and escape the stress of the work week. I hope it works for you too. Now on to the things that caught my eye on the web this week. I hope you can relax and dive into these links below. Happy Sunday my friend.

• Do Good: I've been wanting to spend more time giving back to my local community, and I want to check out some of these volunteer opportunities in Hoboken and Jersey City. 
• Shopping Cart - Barcelona Edition: 
• There are a few things I want to pick up before my trip to Barcelona at the end of this month. I really need comfy, white sneakers, and these have great reviews! I love Soludos; I have an amazing pair of wedges that are super cute and comfortable, so I have faith in these shoes. 
• I really want this romantic red top for Spain. 
• Safe Travels: This article has so many good tips for staying safe while traveling as a woman globe trotter! 
• In My Hood: I am dying to check out this new restaurant/bar in Hoboken! I'm getting good vibes from the photos. I also am so excited to check out this new food hall in my area! I'm gonna f**k some ish up when I go there and eat everything. 
• Live Well: I want to check out these wellness books and documentaries that The Fox and She recommended
• Menu: Uh, I am so excited to cook this! I'm trying to switch to a low card diet/lifestyle and this sounds and looks delicious! 
• Speaking of low carb diets, I'm probably going to buy this "bowl cookbook" by this blogger who we've worked with at my company for a few years. It's pretty affordable, and I really want to start cooking more. 
• Culture Fix: I HAVE to go to this Jane Eye ballet show! I love going to the ballet. It's such a magical experience. 
• LOL: Here are a few more meme accounts that my friend Melody introduced to me or I found on IG. For some reason, taking a 10-minute meme break when I'm stressed out at work is the best thing ever. I've been liking this one, this one (private but hilarious) and this one lately! 
• Brunchin in the City: I want to check out all of these places in NYC this spring. Honestly, brunch is my favorite way to bring large friend groups together. 
• Rooftop Season: Yeah, I'm also checking out all of these places this season. 
• Bing Watch: If you haven't watched Shrill on Hulu yet, I highly recommend it. I love the topics the show discusses. I found it to be pretty relatable and refreshing, 
• Food For Thought: This post. The caption really struck a chord with me. I took a second at work and thought about how I’ve reacted to being disrespected and how I want to react with poise and grace. But it also made me realize how much I have to learn and how much I have grown from those negative experiences. It’s a blessing that I can look upon fairly recent experiences with a new set of eyes

Photo by Alexandra Gorn

Uh, I love Revolve and Amazon! I know that Amazon has done some shady things and Revolve can be a tad expensive, but they both have a hold on me for two simple reasons. Amazon offers affordable, cute items on Prime, and Revolve sells beautiful clothing that legit makes me feel like a princess whenever I wear them. Also, anything you buy on Revolve can be purchased through AfterPay, which means you can pay for everything through 4 installments with no interest!! I love this feature because it allows me to add a few pieces of luxury to my wardrobe without breaking the bank.






I also want to share my outfit details with you guys. I wore this to brunch yesterday, and I felt like a badass the whole day. The top I'm wearing above is from Revolve. I'm OBSESSED with it. I love any and all wrap tops, but the open back with the bow detailing is what makes this top special. It's an added element of sexiness, and I love it. I'm wearing the Flawless High Waisted Skinny Jeggings with an exposed zipper from Talbots. I grabbed them during a sample sale at the office, and I've never loved a pair of jeans more! They fit perfectly and make my butt look pretty damn good.  I couldn't find the exact ones on the site but I'm going to keep looking because I need these in white.





The adorable black and white bag I'm wearing is also from Talbots (shoutout to employee discounts). I love it and have been using it every weekend. It's so chic and classic. The black and white color scheme, gold hardware and unusual rectangular structure of the bag are the reasons why I knew I needed to add this purse to my collection. You'll be seeing a lot of it this spring and summer. Last but not least, my white point-toe stilettos are from Aldo. I got them for 50% off last fall, but DSW and Aldo always have great deals, so finding a similar pair shouldn't be too hard. White shoes have been one of my favorite wardrobe staples for a while.

I hope this post inspires you to add a few fun pieces to your spring wardrobe this season.  Let me know in the comments below what you've been eyeing online recently. Happy Sunday my friend, and thank you so much for taking a moment to read this post. I appreciate you so much more than you could ever know.

Photo by Tom Grimbert ; Photo by Earth ; Photo by Paula Borowska ; Photo by Sérgio Rola; Photo by Bee Balogun

Spring is right around the corner my friends. This past week was actually pretty nice. We saw some warmth and sunshine; it was exactly what I needed. Call me an optimist, but I truly think sping will come early for us this year, which is music to my ears because I'm dying to take my spring wardrobe out of storage!!! I've recently become obsessed with Fallon's wardrobe from the show Dynasty, and I want to emulate it. But I can't really wear blazers and miniskirts without stockings until the weather hits 60. Until then, I'm stuck dreaming of warmer weather and tropical destinations.

This spring, I want to focus on creating a life I'm actually excited about. And I finally realize that in order to achieve this life full of freedom and joy, I have to make a lot of temporary sacrifices. I don't want to work in a freaking cubicle for the next 40 years, and I don't want to worry about my finances. Both of these goals require a lot of hard work and a lot of saying "no". No to some (not all but some) social plans, no to spending extra money and no to fun distractions.

Although I understand that my life is about to become a lot more structured and full of discipline, I don't want to become so laser-focused on my goals that I neglect the other areas of my life. I'm planning to learn as I go and try to take things a lot less seriously. If you know me well, you know that I tend to take everything to the extreme. What can I say? I'm an extra af bitch. But I firmly believe that I have to learn to let go of the things I can't control in order to ascend into the life I desire. So cheers to learning how to go after our dreams while simultaneously swallowing a chill pill in order to avoid driving ourselves crazy.

What are 3 things that you realize you will have to temporarily sacrifice in order to level up in life? Write them down on a pretty piece of stationary and hang it on your wall. Or, share them in the comments below so we can be each other's accountability partners. Wishing you all the love and joy in the world. Thank you so much for taking a moment of your day to read this post. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate it. Until next time my friend.

Photo by Anton Darius | @theSollers

Happy Sunday my friends. I'm glad that we survived another week in the office. Life has been... interesting as of late. I don't know about you, but I'm going through a pretty big transitional phase. And this has been my first chill and therapeutic weekend in about a month. I truly needed it. Because I live in the NYC area, I'm constantly pressuring myself to experience as much as possible and go, go, go! For the past month, I ignored how important it is to slow the hell down. I hope you carve out some time this evening to do just that. I also hope this post encourages you to create a serene atmosphere in your home this evening while you dive into the links below. And if you're interested, scroll to the bottom of this post to read about my shit show of a life. I guarantee it will make you feel better about your own.

• Reading List - I don’t care that Black History Month is over - these are still great books to read 24/7 365
• Here are a few more books I'm planning to read this year.
• Love is a Battlefield - Watch this if you're trying to get over a guy (aka me this week), and watch this if you're ready to focus on yourself instead of desperately looking for love. Hey, we've all been there.
• Turn that Frown Upside Down - Three simple ways to turn a bad day around.
• Ladylike - I really want this posture correcting device after reading Grace's review! My posture is so freaking bad!
• Pretty Little Things - I'm really digging this jewelry line! I might buy one or two necklaces this month.
• Fashion Icon - I love these quotes from the late Karl Lagerfeld
• I Wanna Get Away- I need a staycation ASAP! I want to check out these places.
• I'm also intrigued by this IG account I recently found. Seems right up my alley.
• Cookbook - I want to try this turmeric latte recipe like now.
• Freelance Life - I want to check out all the places on this list this season! I love working from inspiring, cool coffee shops in the city.
• Captain Planet - I never thought about the micro waste that we produce from washing our clothes that are made out of synthetic material... I am buying this little product asap.
• Work Bitch - Some career advice from Grace, who I respect
• Meme Me - Loving this meme account my friend Melody introduced me to!
• Get That Money - I love Rickey and he speaks the TRUTH in this funny and inspiring video #chasebagsnotlove

Shit Show Chronicles - Part 1 

Weekly Highs and Lows 


Lows 

So... I was quite far from my best this week/weekend. I have been borderline distraught for the past two weeks, so I did what all self-respecting adults do... I drank instead of dealing with my emotions. Ooops. I go through waves of wanting to embrace my emotions and wanting to run from them. Well, this week was a fine example of why I shouldn’t run from them. Not only did I put myself in physical danger by overdrinking, but I ignorantly threw myself at men who blatantly showed me that they do not value or respect me. Did I handle these situations with class and grace? You bet your sweet ass that I did not! I went into meltdown mode instead of Michelle Obama mode.  At least we live and we learn right?  

This was also the first weekend that I've spent alone in over a year.  Since becoming single, I have purposely stayed busy. I was constantly out with friends and crashing at their places to avoid being alone.  So Friday night, I challenged myself to go home after my dance class and stay in for the night. Surprisingly, I had an amazing night to myself filled with Chick-Fil-A, journaling and binge-watching Sex and the City. I fell asleep extremely early (because I'm apparently an old maid now) and woke up feeling refreshed and on top of the world. 

Saturday night, I was not so lucky. This is when all of the self-deprecating thoughts came rushing into my mind. I fell into a little spiral and woke up a few times throughout the night, but I realize how much I needed time to be sad and process my emotions. I woke up in a negative headspace, but once I told myself "hey girl, this is just a temporary emotion and it will pass," I was able to move on with my day and have an amazing Sunday! I used to be in the place where I was terrified to be single again, but I'm soooo much happier than I was a few months ago because I know that I am strong enough to take care of myself now. Before, I was really bad at taking care of myself. 

Weekly Highs 

I learned 3 things about myself during this week's trials and tribulations... 

1. I CANNOT DRINK if I’m severely upset about something, and this week I was irrationally devastated over a guy and my career. Now I realize that if I drink before dealing with my issues, I will make bad decisions... every single damn time. Add a lack of sleep and additional hormones from my period to that equation and you get two manic episodes in the course of 5 days, featuring yours truly. I'm happy to report that I'm no longer beating myself up about these episodes; I’m actually quite relieved that I came to this conclusion. This is something I’ll probably deal with for the rest of my life. I now see what happens when I bottle everything up inside and then add alcohol on top of it. 

2. I also realize that there’s nothing wrong with being sad or upset from time to time. I’m so terrified of going back to the mental place I was in during 2015-2017, but I’ve significantly grown since then. I’ve made similar mistakes as that version of me, but I’m not bed-ridden over guilt or self-hate anymore. I totally contribute this new mental grit/strength to the therapy sessions I sought out during 2018. I also still want to prioritize therapy and figure out how to make it fit into my budget. Paying that hefty price sucks, but it’s critical for me to take care of my mindset in order to thrive. I thought I could do it alone and I can’t. I am fine admitting that now. 

3. My recent breakup is affecting me more than I thought it would. I have not used the past three weeks to focus on my dreams; instead, I’ve turned to men, alcohol and partying as a distraction from what I actually want in life! Why? Because I’m terrified that I’m going to fucking fail. The ironic part about this fear is, I'm allowing it to control my actions. Therefore, I'm acting like an immature, psychotic shit show. I’m not ok with that. I’m better than that. So now it's time for me to clean up my act.  And I'm fully confident that I am doing just that. Obviously, I'm going to still make mistakes, but I highly doubt I'll make the same ones again. 

Thank you so much for spending part of your day reading this post. I hope my messiness hopes you feel less alone if you've felt like a mess lately too. Sending you so much love and joy! Until next time my friend.